Powered by Linky Tools
Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…
Here is a basic definition of high functioning autism: Thank you mighty Wikipedia!
“High-functioning autism (HFA) is a term applied to people with Autism who are deemed to be cognitively “higher functioning” (IQ>70) than other people with autism. Individuals with HFA or Asperger Syndrome, exhibit deficits in areas of communication, emotion recognition and expression, and social interaction. There is no consensus on the definition…”
As you can see, its not black and white, even the Experts cant agree, so how on earth am I supposed to figure it out? I’m just his Mum, I can barely make it from my front door to the car without having an emotional crisis. (maybe I’ve got it too…..oh no that might just be the Sauvingnon again). Its easy to shrug Autism off as a “fad”, an, “on trend diagnosis”, or a reason for excusing your child’s apparent bad behavior. But as a wise man once said,
“Don’t judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes” …..
Well mine are 5′ killer heels, so best you get practicing!
As you may be able to tell, today has not been a great day. There are brief times when you realise you have sunk a bit lower than you thought. This light-bulb moment came to me when I was sat on the sofa watching “Pet Rescue” just before starting work, and a dodgy looking mouse had to be sent to Mouse Heaven. Now I would be the first to say I’m a soft touch when it comes to anything soft and furry, but a scrawny grey mouse? not a cute white one that looks like it could sit up and talk to you, “Disney Style”, possibly with a catchy rap to round things off.
No this was a grey, saggy, frankly pretty knackered looking creature that had seen better days. But I howled like a baby. You know things are not going so well when the death of a small rodent brings you to chest beating tears! Anyway below is a picture of a baby elephant. There’s no real link, but apparently I’m not putting enough pictures in my blog…….well actually there sort of is a link!
We took Charlie Banana to Chester Zoo a couple of years ago, went the whole 9 yards and thought, well its too far to go in a day so we will stay overnight. Found a lovely hotel, quiet Country House style “pile”. All very Sense and Sensibility, all it needed was Judy Dench to come floating out in a full Edwardian costume and we could have been on a film set. But anyway, we rock up, go to our room, immediately nick all the toiletries and the coffee and tea and hot chocolate sachets (I cant help it!! – they put it in the bill???!!!). The overnight stay goes pretty well, dinner was a bit of a trial as the restaurant was a bit noisy and busy but we managed, found a very quiet, out of the way table in the corner and sat the offspring between us so he felt “safe”.
Got up the next morning and trotted off to the Zoo, to be promptly informed when we got there “I want to go home” Now I know what your thinking “Just make the little toe-rag walk round? kids are kids and like to whinge!” But that’s not the case with ours (well OK sometimes it is, but its hard to know “exactly” when) This is one of the things I find hardest about having a child with Autism, you never really know when they are just being little toe-rags, and when what is bothering them is a genuine fear or total inability to understand. Can you afford to make the mistake? If the answer is Yes then your a braver person than I.
In other matters, somebody told me today I sound like Kathy Lette when I blog, which is very flattering, so thank you for that:) I also got sent an article today entitled “How to write a top blog”. No mention was made of sitting on the sofa, knocking back industrial size glasses of vino (I’m not an alcoholic, honest) and bemoaning the fact the cat, “Always”, chooses to chuck up on the carpet rather than the laminate. I wouldn’t mind this so much, but we only have one rug in the “entire house!”. It would be harder to “hit” the rug, than miss it! I swear the cat saunters downstairs after a trying 18 hour nap, and thinks; “Yep, that’s looks nice and clean, I’ll think I’ll just vomit up a furball”
But back to my point, it was a really interesting article, but I think was it was designed to aid you more in”making money” from your blog, rather than attempting to use it as a cheap form of therapy. Although as the Hubby pointed out, its “not that cheap when you drink £15 bottles of wine whilst doing it!” – I like to think I made my point clearly when I actually “went” for a therapy session and presented him with a bill for £125. Therapy didnt work so well for me, I found myself just wanting to bang my head against the wall every time they asked me “how do you “feel” about that? – maybe its me, maybe I’m just not cut out for therapy, but my over-riding desire was to get into the filing cabinet in her office, lock the door and sniff the Tipex…
Tomorrow is Sports Day! – or not. Having had numerous debates, endless questions, and even at one stage a re-enactment of the event itself, we have come to the conclusion that Charlie Banana will be staying home tomorrow. Its just not worth the aggro, or the angst, or the anxiety, or any other number of words that being with “A” ( I feel like Big Bird on Sesame Street). Its a Sports Day, not Mastermind (which he might do better at ironically) I always sucked at Sports Day, mostly because I developed Katie Price like boobs at the tender age of 13 and suddenly found I had myself a fan base consisting almost entirely of 16 year old boys….but that’s a whole other blog!!
Today has been a bad day, I have felt tired, worthless, useless, and basically like a failed parent. But a text message to some girlfriends resulted in a “Rescue Visit” this evening, which I know will make me feel better, and also somewhat like the dodgy mouse as there is always a risk with these two particular friends that they might just have me “put to sleep”….;)
But the end result of today will be that its yet another day, like many before it, and I am sure many more that will follow it. Some are good days, some are bad. But like most other things in Life, you don’t have any choices, there is not getting off this particular train. Course had I known at the start I might never have got on, but then I wouldn’t have the little fella that I do, and despite all the things that he isn’t, there are a million more perfect ,wonderful, bright and beautiful things that he is.
So as you can see, this is why the title of today’s Blog is what is, because I haven’t failed, I just haven’t “quite” figured out how to cope yet, and until then? I will buy shoes, drink wine, and remember that things could be worse…..but to be strictly honest mostly I will just buy shoes.
theautismtrain 