This week has been about holding it together, and by that I don’t simply mean emotionally, but on all levels. Including managing to get my bra to do up on all three hooks, rather than just the one. Lets face it with “girls” like mine the industrial strength steel engineering that goes into each and every bra I own, is a necessity rather than a design feature. Leaving 2 our of 3 hooks undone could see accidents happening! On the plus side if the World ever has a shortage of 8 man camping tents I shall be able to make a small fortune on the black market…
I read an article today by someone who appears to have the Mother/Goddess/Domestic Heroine thing down to an Art Form. I did briefly feel inadequate, until I realised that chances are it was all a big pack of lies!! I know many wonderful women who are Mothers, and I also know not one of them would mind me saying that none of them excel at “all” aspects of Parenthood.
I don’t think we are supposed to. Are we? (insert note of panic here) I certainly fail on many fronts, not least the Domestic one, as nicely demonstrated by my somewhat pathetic attempt to use up 6 eggs today (started off as Kedgeree, which then became an Spanish omelette which then nicely segued into, “would an egg sandwich do?” – at least I know my limits)
I rarely make it through a day without forgetting to put eye make up on “both” eyes, wearing my top on inside out, and putting the cat in the fridge and the milk in the garden. But I like to think it adds to my charm and mystery. This has “something” to do with having a child with Autism, and “a lot” to do with just being a regular mum, tired, anxious and a little bit mad.
When I was younger I used to have all these Grand Plans to “do something/be somebody” – I was also going to get back into my size 10 jeans and learn to speak French. Turned out I am NEVER going to get back into my size 10 jeans, my only knowledge of French consists of being able to ask if somebody would like to sleep with me tonight ? (not “entirely” unusable), and I never really did “anything” that set the World on fire. But I did get to be somebody. I got to be a Mother.
Now granted I didn’t get the easiest kid on the block , but I didn’t get hardest either. As terrifically inconvenient as it is to have a child with Autism (and trust me, it is), you do also need to remember some very wise and well founded words…
So you see I did do some of the things I planned, well ok actually it was just the one, but you never know, I could still learn French (as you can see the size 10 jeans plan has been entirely nixed!) But I got to be a Mother, now I’m not sure I excel at it, but its still the most fulfilling job I’ve ever had. It’s also the hardest, the least well paid, has no health plan, no pension and the uniform is dire, but I am pretty much prepared to bet the end result will beat any year end bonus. The Autism? Meh, whatyagonnado?!?
We are due to start the new School Term this coming week, it has seen me resort to Valium, Gin, Hypnosis,Tears, Retail Therapy, and lastly but by no means least; treating myself to three pairs of new shoes, all of which are entirely impractical, so therefore 100% necessary.
None of this will change the Trauma that is to come, but in honour of all Mothers out there, not just the ones I know and admire, but every Mum who for numerous reasons dreads the start of a new school term. Here’s to putting our shoulders back, our make up on, and knowing we try to do the very VERY best we can. It’s all anybody can ask.
PS for those worried about the Cat, fear not, I remembered before he was entirely frozen, its amazing what you can do with a Hairdryer and some hot water bottles..
theautismtrain 